Universe of Four Animes
by Tori-No-Miko
Summary: What happens when you put one short-tempered director with little anime knowledge with a cast of anime characters? Trouble. FY, IY, YGO, SM and more. Rated for a few not too bad words. May contain mockery of random characters.
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: *gets thrown out of a building* Damn, I was really close to getting them to let me buy their animè contracts this time, it's their fault they didn't like a button from my brother's pants and a rubber band that was snapped. In other words I don't own anything but the plot thingy. HAH! Made you read all that!

**The Universe of Four Animès**

_By: Tori-No-Miko_

_Edited by: OOOPPPs (Tori-No-Miko's Brother)_

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**               Chapter One**

It was a stormy night, the lightning skimmed across the wind blown waves of the seas of Konan. A solitary figure emerges across the horizon, dark, still and detached. He raises his hand and a soft frightening melody begins to play, picking up tempo, it seems to drive and order the lightning as it reaches its crescendo. OK, OK, it was a bright sunny day with a single girl sitting next to a pond feeding ducks, while the music of the 'ice cream' truck slowly drives by. She stands up and looks across the small pond.

"Woah, what a nice day!", she says smiling, "I think I should buy some ice-cream, before the truck drives away"

She slowly reaches into her hip pocket only to watch in horror as a small, particularly cute duck waddles away with something which looks suspiciously like her wallet.

"COME BACK HERE YOU SMELLY, FAST, *and particularly cute and smart* DUCK!!!!"

Then from somewhere, a loud and demanding voice sounded, "CUT" 

"What the heck is wrong this time?" the duck says. It's head pops out of the mound of feathers and reveals a fanged red-head.

"Tasuki-San, you aren't acting realistic enough to be a duck." The director shouts demandingly.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY FANTASTIC ACTING SKILLS?" Tasuki yells crazily.

Suddenly, an ear-splitting scream echoed through the set. It was the girl again.

"T-the duck just transformed! I-into the most hideous thing I-I've ever seen!!!" She screams. For a small girl like her, she sure has a fit pair of lungs to produce that sort of sound.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' HIDEAOUS?!" Tasuki snarled menacingly.

"Eh…no-one?" the girl answered.

"Order, order people!" the director yelled, slapping the script in his hands onto the camera.

"What the? Director-sama, you know you can never order those two around." A purple haired 'girl' sighed.

"I HAVE FREAKIN' NAME YA' KNOW?!" The director yelled at the purple haired 'girl' who was now crawled into a corner.

"Well, well, well, have I, Sesshomaru-Sama, hired the wrong person to direct my movie, 'A day in the park', hmmmmm?" An albino entered the set.

"Well of course not. I was just…uh…telling the cast how to act out one of your scenes.." The director fidgeted. 'Suuuuuuure…telling them how to do their jobs…Suuuuuure…' he thought sarcastically.

"AIIIYYEEE! SESSHO-FLUFFY-MARU-SAMA!" a cry of admiration sounded.

Suddenly, a fat green toad-like thing knocked Sesshomaru over.

"Ooompf!", Sesshomaru choked as he got the wind knocked out of him by the little green thing.

"OH! I JUST LOVE ALL YOUR MOVIES ESPECIALLY 'PIGBALL A: REFRIGERATORS' REVENGE' AND 'DUEL MONSTERS THE FIRST MOVIE'!" the green toad cried happily. "By the way my name is Jaken!"

Jaken was a green toad thingy, which was obviously a guy but, was in a pink tutu.

"G-et. Of-f. Me-e!" Sesshomaru gasped.

"Say please!" Jaken said, supposedly seductively, well at least that was what he thought.

"AHHHHHHHHH!!" Instead, it seems that Sesshomaru had screamed. He turned into his demon dog form and ran off like a little girl. 'My EARS! They are POISONED by his VOICE!' he thought as he ran off with tears in his eyes.

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"Well. That was entertaining…" The girl from the beginning said simply.

"MIAKA!" A blonde girl ran up to Miaka.

"Usagi-Chan!" Miaka exclaimed.

They tackled each other.

"WOW! How long has it been? 2 days? 3? Since we've seen each other?" Usagi asked.

"YUP!"

As they were chattering, Director-Sama was losing patience.

"SHOOOOOSH! SHUT UP! STOP IGNORING ME! I'M THE DIRECTOR! I AM GOIN' TO ORDER YOU AROUND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!" He yelled angrily.

Then there was a awkward silence before a person bravely *or stupidly* broke it.

"Geeze, what's up his ar-," Usagi didn't finish her sentence as Miaka stuffed a sweaty rag in her mouth. Miaka gave out a nervous laugh. 

"Hahaha…Usa-Chan, what did you eat for lunch?" With that she dragged Usagi off to somewhere.

Everyone else that hadn't said anything to annoy the director was just watching the duo go off silently. They all thought the same thing as what Usagi was *about* to say. But Usagi being so shallow, was the one that nearly laid out their tombs.

"Nuriko, can't you do anything with your horrible strength and cross-dressing ways?" Tasuki whispered to the 'girl' with purple hair.

Nuriko's eyes flashed with an evil glint before it disappeared when Tasuki's face was met with the wall.

"Shish, with all that pressure he was receiving from Fluffy, it would only be a matter of time before Director-Sama would crack." Tomo-the-Painted-Faced-Homo whispered to Soi, who was nodding.

"I heartily agree with you for once." She whispered back still nodding.

No longer than 5 seconds, whispers broke out through out the set. Things like "I knew he never liked directing movies' to rumors like ' I heard he has a drinking problem and liked to hang out in Gay Bars' were whispered around.

Even though they were whispered to one another, Director-Sama heard every single word. It was almost as if he had incredible hearing. One by one, his veins began to pop out of his skull.

"SHUUUUUUUUUT UUUUPPPPPP!"

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TNM: Well, now that's done! It's short but…the more reviews I get the longer the next chapter will be. Please be easy on flames, this is my first try on humour.

OPs: After four years of research including a trip to Nepal and a stop over in Thailand, I have finally gathered enough material to edit and help TNM in writing this first chapter. Oh, who am I kidding, she wrote it herself while I was on the comp looking at pr0n. 

TNM: -_-;; Well that's my brother for ya' pr0n pr0n pr0n that's all he thinks about…

R/R!

**Can anyone guess what movies Jaken was talking about? Cookie for those who can!**

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	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: Me no own nothing except Director-Sama.

**Universe of Four Animès **

_By: Tori-No-Miko_

_Edited By: OOOPPPs _

**Last chapter**

Even though they were whispered to one another, Director-Sama heard every single word. It was almost as if he had incredible hearing. One by one, his veins began to pop out of his skull.

"SHUUUUUUUUUT UUUUPPPPPP!"

****

**Chapter 2**

"Shuddup!! Shuddup!! Shuddup!!!", the Director-Sama was red in the face and hot air fuming out of his ears. "Shuddup if you still want your job!"

Silence engulfed the set. Everyone was beginning to move back to their respective places, before Tasuki let off a big "BURRPPP!!".

The man dubbed 'Director-sama' sneered at his direction, before Nuriko pulled Tasuki by the collar of his duck costume, and dragged the kicking and flailing fang-boy into the mens room. 

"NOooOOoo, anywhere but the mens room!! Plea-.", his plea was cut short by the slam of the toilet door. Director-Sama signaled everyone back to their positions for his next scene: Big bad battle at the baddies building with brilliantly blinding bills looking like duel monsters (Sesshomaru had a hard time trying to continue the alliteration, but spent countless nights haunted in his nightmares by the annoying melody of "Let's D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-uel!")

Miaka was no where to be seen as she had dragged off her friend Usagi, so the scene was to be improvised without her. In other words this little green-eyed brunette was in deep deep deep deep deep deep etc. trouble.

A boy with an 'inventive' to say the least, hairstyle (like a Goku-wannabe, struck by lightning) walked into the spotlight. He was wearing an overly large pyramid charm with an peculiar eye embossed on it and his stature reminded the director somewhat of that damn annoying show they premiered much to his disgust every morning on the cartoon channel while he was eating his German sausages for breakfast. It was called.. Yu.. Yu Yu Hakusho? Yu.. Fushigi Yugi? Yu…. His eyes turned blank with anger.

"YOU!! The guy from Yu-Gi-Oh!!" he shouted in a fit, "you're.. you're.. you're Pegasus!! HOW COULD YOU KILL GOKU!!??"

"Um.. s'cuse me sir", Chiriko tugged at the Director-sama's sleeve, "I think your mixing up your animè knowledge"

"OUT!!", Director-sama pointed to the exit door looking angrily at Chiriko. Being the short tempered gives-out-bull-crap-but-accepts-none kinda guy, he particularly hated being corrected by people, let alone a young child. The other kid looked innocently at him, and struggled to get attention with his stuttering sentences. He seemed to fidget all the time as well.

'Dumb kid, who doesn't know how to keep cool.' The director thought.

"Um… umm... sir? Can we get started now? I mean… umm, its like um… nearly four.. err.. thirty, and I really gotta umm… go home"

"Yeah, yeah…stupid Pegasus-guy-who-ruined-Crush-Gear" he breathed under his breath. "To your places people! Miaka! Kaiba-boy!". 

Miaka was trying to stuff Usagi in the janitors closet before more harm was done by her when she heard Director-Sama call her name. Not wanting to lose her first job, she moved quickly into position, next to the normally brown haired Seto Kaiba, but now with silver strands and a gold piece of plastic covering one eye.

"Remember your lines people, OK?!? Lights, camera, ACTION!", and the cameras started rolling.

"He he he he, Miyuuki-guurl, how can you possibly believe that you can beat me, when I have my magnificent magnifying metallic motion metamorphic Gold Thingymajig!" (Sesshomaru was hard at work again you see…) Seto said with a grin, in an accent and tone which would send shivers down the actor's spine though the director seemed to like it. 

"I know I can win! I believe in the heart of my bills!", Miaka (as Miyuuki (or Miyuuki-guurl)) said, " and with my friends standing behind me, I will defeat you! I use my Earl of Demise in attack mode!"

The stadium set lighted up as the people underneath prepared to put up the cardboard figures to rise up in the dramatic puff of smoke. Both sides of the stand-off coughed. But as the smoke dispersed, they were confronted with something they never expected - a yellow fluffy duck wildly swinging oversized canoe paddles (obviously Tasuki loved the role, and didn't mind making a fool of himself). And of course appropriately complete with the sounds of the trademark music of the circus. 

"Ha ha ha ha!!", Seto laughed evilly, "You obviously don't know your deck! You activated the 'Dangerous Demented Deranged Demon Duck of Dark Doorways of Destructive Doom' (Sesshomaru was doing his job right at that particular moment) bill, a bill with only a meager attack and defense points of 50 and 100."

"No!!" Miyuuki gasped. She had a look of pure horror. The director had told her to think of the worst thing she could ever think of then, which was no food.

The director signaled and a voice sounded through the set: "Will Miyuuki survive the onslaught of Pegaset? Or will her amazingly cute, but dangerously idiotic duck-"bill" go against all odds and defeat his amazingly strong cards with it's low attack points? Find out in the next episode of Mi-Yuu-Ki-Oh!" And the ending theme was sequenced.

"Why was I here?" the little kid, which we will from now reveal to be none other than Yugi Mouto, asked.

"Well, I have my grand plans for you my little friend and your unfortunate decision in killing my most favorite character in Crush Gear.", the director said with an evil glint in his eyes and the sparkle in his teeth as he grinned. 

Yugi now felt very uncomfortable, and when he noticed the demented grin that was pasted on Director-Sama's face widen, he felt more uncomfortable. Yep, heaps more uncomfortable.

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(Did anyone wonder where Sesshomaru was after he ran off crying?)

Sesshomaru had been running for awhile now. He didn't care about the weird stares people sent to this gigantic dog. What was he running from eh? 

A squeal of delight was heard. 

Oh, there it is.

"Sessho-Fluffy-Sama! I SEE You! He he." The toad in a tutu came tailgating the poor dog demon. He had stars in his eyes. 'Ohh! I _love you……r work so much! I wish for him to sign my tutu which was made just like the one in the movie Silly Idiot!'_

"He he he, what are you running from? And at that incredible speed it can rival that of Kouga's own, he he he!" The disgusting Jaken was oblivious to the fact that Sesshomaru was running from him!

'Just a few more blocks before I can be saved, think of other things, not Jaken 'seductive' voice.' 

Instead of what he was supposed to think, something else came to his mind.

_"Say please!" Jaken said, supposedly seductively, well at least that was what he thought._

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

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OPs: Yellow fluffy duck wildly swinging oversized canoe paddles reminds me of TNM, that smelly bugger… *looks around the corner and shrieks* …oh.. TNM, yea she a kewl bloke *runs away* remember R&R! =)

TNM: *whistles innocently and hides blood covered butcher knife behind her back* What? And don't you forget, no reviews mean the same thing might happen to you *points to the corpse next to her* oh and I like ducks… R/R

**Note: Can anyone guess what movie Jaken was talking about this time? A cookie for those who can!**

Ohh and before I forget! Review replies! WAHHH! Only one review…T0T

**Pheonyx****-X:  TNM: Well you got the animès right so here's you're cookie, but wait…didn't you eat it already? Well too bad!! HOHOHOHO!**


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